Currently I am writing a Bible Study for my children. My husband and I catechise them, do Scripture memory with them, and we have read to them from dozens of children’s Bibles their whole life. I have had trouble finding good children’s curriculum that adequately portrays Christ in the Bible starting with Creation. It is one thing to teach my children about animal sacrifices and that Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, but how are they to understand what that really means unless they start from the beginning. I want them to know these fathers starting with Adam, and know the main characters that lead all the way to Jesus. I want them to know all the stories, not just the pretty and popular ones. I am tired of the story of Noah being portrayed as a beautiful story of a man building a boat, obeying God, and rescuing his family and the animals from the big flood. Rather, I want my children to see that this is a horrible story of God’s harsh judgment, that all people, animals, plants and birds died in this catastrophe as punishment for sin. I want my children to see the Providential hand of God on Noah and through this obedient, chosen vessel, God was preserving His bloodline. As I write this study, God is working me over. God is showing me things I really never connected before. God is teaching me about my role as a woman, wife and mother. Starting with Eve, she is the one that the serpent was able to deceive first, then Eve persuaded her husband. Did the enemy know that she was weaker and that perhaps she had a way to persuade her man? Can the beauty and grandeor of a woman sometimes cause the man that loves her to fall away from obedience to Holy God? I do think so. I skip from Eve to Sarah. She was past the age of child-bearing, and she thought it was a good idea to have her husband lie with her maidservant and get her pregnant, then they would have an heir. She presented this plan to her husband, and he agreed. Once again we see a pattern here of the woman persuading her husband to sin. Next we go to Lot and his wife. They were spared from God’s terrible judgment. When the two angels of the Lord came to visit him in that wicked city, they came to warn them to get out quickly before the fire fell. Lot was taking too much time, but after he was taken away from the city, the angels told him to flee to the mountains with his family. Rather than just taking the instructions and leaving in thankful obedience for their lives, Lot begs the angels to spare the wicked city of Zoar and to let them dwell there. The angel agrees to not destroy that city too, and lets Lot and his family flee there. It was just moments later that his wife disobeys, turns around like she was told not to, and she looses her life. Next it says that Lot and his two daughters fled to the mountains. This makes me think that they only went to that wicked city because of Lot’s wife, otherwise why would he have left after her death.
As I ponder on this pattern of some of the most faithful men- some even noted in Hebrews 11 as examples of those with great faith- fell pray to their women. I have began to examine closely my obedience and yielding to the Lord and my response to how I handle my husband. Have I ever persuaded my husband to do something that was not the wisest thing? Absolutely. I can look back so many times in our marriage and see where I may have begged for something that was not the best for us. I know as a pastor’s wife I am in a hot seat. I must make sure that my decisions are covered in prayer and that my husband ultimately makes all the decisions. I have to back down and let him lead in all things. I remember when this really first came- I will get all personal here for a moment. We had been married only a few months and we were packing our things to head to seminary soon. I had found out I was pregnant and we had deliberately tried not too. I was so upset thinking Josh was going to be mad at me and that this was somehow my fault. He laughed when he saw how silly it was that I was upset. He was so happy, then I became happy. After I lost that baby, Josh informed me, with love of course, that we were going back to our original plan of waiting a few years to get pregnant until we moved and settled in the new state. I was broken. God had opened my heart to becoming a mother and now that door slammed shut in my face, not only by death, but now by my husband. I begged him on several occasions to trust God and let us try again. I used God and His providence on many of my begging episodes. I had times of pouting and sorrow but I also knew that we were in no position financially and facing this big move to be pregnant. I knew in my heart it was not the right time. We had to move, find jobs, get insurance, and possibly buy a home. God gave me grace during that time to trust Him. I will always remember the moment when I came home from my job to our little home after a very long day. Josh told me he was ready to give it to the Lord. I was so happy and ready myself. Nine months later baby Karis was born into our family. She was born two years and three days after our miscarriage. God knew best. Not only was I glad we waited on the Lord, but our marriage grew during those two years. I learned through that time exactly how it was that God was leading our family through Josh.
In our almost ten years of marriage and sixteen years of being in love, God has melted my heart to my husbands. Through every financial situation, every move, every pregnancy, every church, every house purchase (4 now), and every big life decision, God has allowed us to be in unity. We were both usaved when God brought us together. I can see now how God brought us together, molded our hearts for one another, and has given me the respect for him that makes me want to follow and trust him. I know he seeks the face of God, I know he prays for me, I know he only wants the best for our family.
Do I always trust my husband? I think he is the best leader in all definitions of the word. God has gifted him and blessed him so much. I have little trouble following him and trusting his guidance. I am not the perfect wife, there are many times God uses my husband to correct me. These are things to consider before ever marrying, if you can’t see yourself following, obeying and trusting this man, please do not ever marry him. If he never prays for you, prays with you, and is not constantly seeking the face of God, then it will be almost impossible to live a life of complete submission, obedience and trust in him as a wife. I was very naive to these things before marriage, so it is only by the grace of God He called us and blessed us. So what are you to do if it is too late, you are already married to a man that does not lead your family in the way of the cross? I am not sure how well I would do if I had a husband that wasn’t a good, strong leader, or if I had a husband that did not love Jesus. To those women that have a husband they cannot trust, I have no other words for you but to keep following. The Bible only tells us to be submissive and obey. When a husband is weak in leadership, it does not dismiss this command to the wife. Our first leader and head is Jesus Christ. We do know this, if we live our lives as wives in complete subjection to Him, we never know what good things are to come. I have seen God do life-changing miracles in a man. He did it in the Bible, He is still doing it today.
As for me, I will be on guard to encourage my husband, stand behind him proudly, and Josh never having to choose between my desires and God’s plan for our lives. If I want God to bless my family, and I do, then I must learn from the examples of Eve, Sarah, and Lot’s wife!
Ephesians 5:22-23 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.”
Genesis 3:16 “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1 Peter 3:1 “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;”
Genesis 3:17 “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;”