During the four years we lived in Kentucky we frequently drove the long drive from Louisville to Atlanta. We had to pass all the way through the state of Tennessee. We did get a lot of talking time in during those many trips south. With our busy schedules juggling school, work, church, home, and eventually a child, we rarely had an opportunity for uninterrupted talking time. On one of our long travels we were talking about not knowing where the Lord would call us to be in the ministry one day. I remember looking out my window and saying, “If God would let me choose anywhere I wanted to live and minister, I would choose a small town right here in Tennessee.” About four years later is when God granted me that very wish.

Many weeks into the interviews with the church in Tennessee I remember the turmoil over leaving my class of women I was teaching at our church in Kentucky. I did not know anything about the new church and I did not know anyone. I told Josh one day that if God would let me choose any class I wanted, I would love to teach the college age girls. I found out shortly after that they had a wonderful teacher, but I must admit I was a little disappointed. One year later the teacher told my husband that he just had too much on his plate, which is the absolute truth due to his many roles in our church. My heart leapt with joy as I found out that the college girls needed a teacher. I am so happy to be teaching again and I enjoy it.

This month we are learning about women in the Bible that we should try to model after. Actually, the title of our lessons is, “The woman I should be” and the guys are doing the same study but theirs is titled,”The woman I should marry.” Next month we will swap and focus on the men.

This week we were studying Phoebe. I had not really studied about her much and when I went to write the lesson, I was disappointed to only find two verses about her. As I studied and read, I found out that two verses is a book worth when it comes to Phoebe. She was a hard worker, she instructed the other ladies and children, she took care of the sick, she helped ministers, she served in the church and was a blessing the the ministry there while she was responsible in fulfilling important tasks. Phoebe was living in a city among heathen people and other women that were gossiping, prostituting, adulterers, partakers of alcoholic beverages, and lustful. She remained focus on Christ and the mission of spreading the Gospel. Phoebe lived such a pure life that other women and younger girls wanted to have her purity, work ethic, strength, and wisdom. Women like that are to be desired because they are so rare. Proverbs 31 says that her price is far above rubies and her value is unmatched. Perhaps this is because there were very few women in that day that measured up to her, perhaps it is also even more rare to find her today.

I know I was deeply convicted this week.. Teaching is really about learning and I learn way more that my students. I know that I feel like I strive to please Christ in everything I do and my goal is to excel at every job I have. I am a perfectionist and I must do everything right especially when it comes to serving Him. When I studied about Phoebe this week I felt like the woman I strive to be is even farther out of reach than I imagined. Her worth really is unmeasurable because she really is a rare jewel. It does feel impossible to attain and just when I think I am there, I read about women like Phoebe.

I think today she probably would be spending time at the prisons praying with the prisoners, going to the homeless and giving them hot food from her family table and clothes from her closet, she would probably be delivering Bibles and prayer to the mommy’s and daddy’s in the neonatal intensive care unit where babies are lost every hour, she would probably be mowing her neighbors grass because they are recovering from surgery, she would probably be delivering diapers and formula to the neighbor that just had a baby and her husband lost his job last week, she would probably be balancing her checkbook and trying to find a few extra dollars to send that youth on a mission trip this summer with the church all the while sacrificing that new outfit for Easter service, she would probably be calling her pastor and encouraging him on a weekly basis, and when important tasks come up in the church he knows he can call her to do it. Paul knew Phoebe would be able to deliver that letter to Rome for him and she fulfilled the task God called her to do by doing just that. She did not ask for her name to be mentioned in the Bible, she did not ask for any recognition. She was ready and willing to do service for the Lord.

O Lord, please make me more like Phoebe. Please make me to be less about myself and more about you. Please help me to focus more on people than on this one person. As I struggle with being materialistic, please help me to think of those with bare feet. Please help me to think of the hungry as I fill up my cabinets and refrigerator with food each week. Please help me as I tuck my children and myself in a comfortable and warm bed every night to think of the children that lay cold in the night. As I kiss my children help me to think of the children that have no mommy. Please use me Lord to do Your work. Keep me seeking Your face and give me a heart to serve like Phoebe had. Amen

Change my heart O God, Make it ever true

Change my heart O God, Make me more like You

You are the potter, I am the clay

Mold me and make me, this is what I pray!