The answer is yes! How do I know, well, I have been both. I was raised in a home as a deacon’s child and we were very faithful to church. I felt as a teenager that my parents were Christian radicals who would never let us miss church unless there was an illness or death. My parents were not easily fooled either! There was probably a better chance for me to play hooky from school than from church. My parents have raised me to be a die hard Christian. I am thankful for this today because it has instilled in me a no excuses policy for skipping church. If we are constantly skipping church for this reason or that, then there is a reason why our heart does not have a burning desire to be present to hear God’s Word.

While I felt growing up like I was in the ministry, I had a best friend that was our pastor’s daughter. I grew up in her home quite a bit and I must say, things were different for her. So what is all the fuss about ministry? Why is ministry so difficult? Did God design it this way?

Hopefully I can express to you in this article how very different it is and how God did indeed design it that way. God made us each different and he also made us equipped for our calling. Remember, God called us to salvation and He knew what he wanted to do with us before we were ever conceived! Jeremiah was called before conception! Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”

Hannah prayed to God asking for a son and she told God she would give her son back to Him for the ministry if He would only let her have a son. God formed Samson in her womb with a purpose and a mission. I wonder if she would have still made that promise had she known what ministry would be like for that child. Sometimes I pray that God would call my children to be a soldier in the front lines of hard battle in some branch of the military before he would call them in the ministry, but I only say that on really hard days! And I am also joking!

David was chosen to be King before he was conceived. His duties awaited him and God had it all planned out according to His perfect will. His divine plan was, and always is fulfilled.

Josh felt the call to preach just as we were getting engaged. We dated for 6 years before the thought even entered our minds about ministry. We just assumed Josh would work doing web development or something like that and that we would live normally! Well, shortly before our engagement and wedding, I classify those dates together because they were only eight weeks apart, Josh battled with God calling him to ministry. I thought at the time that Josh was called and then I would just be his wife. Now I realize that God was calling me too! I realize now that God had a calling on my life before I was in my mother’s womb. This certainly does not make me more special than anyone else, nor does it mean that God loves me more than He does anyone else, but it does mean that God wants me to have a high standard in my life and be totally dependent on him.

Now, for all you reading this that are not in the ministry, you can also adopt the same high a standard for your life!

Here are some differences that I am referring to:

When you are in ministry you must guard yourself when becoming friends with someone. I do have a best friend that is a church member at our church. It is okay for us to be close, but there are many boundaries I cannot, for any reason, cross. I cannot tell her personal things about my marriage that best friends share, come on, he is her pastor!!
I cannot share anything with her that is going on in our struggles at the church. I cannot share anything with her that people in the community or in the church share with us, and boy do they share things! I cannot share with her many personal feelings I have towards family members, my husband, other church members, etc… I am not trying to be to her someone I am not, but I must keep myself pure before everyone we are ministering to or else I risk losing my credibility! I am a Sunday school teacher also and the minute I let my guard down in this area I have lost my effectiveness as a teacher of God’s Word. It can be lonely sometimes when you truly feel you have no one to talk to about things that are bothering you.

When you are in ministry you must avoid all appearances of evil. Paul displayed this wonderfully in 1 Corinthians when he refrained from eating meat because it offended the new Christians since meat was being used for idol sacrifices. Paul went as far to say that he would NEVER eat meat again if it offended someone. He could have said, “That is not fair I can eat what I want to eat and eating it is not a sin.” It was not eating the meat that was a sin, but he was willing to take great lengths at not offending them. There are things we must do to protect our testimony even if we feel it is UNFAIR. When Billy Graham was asked by a colleague how did he survive in the public ministry without ever once committing a sexual sin of adultery, his answer was that he NEVER met with a female alone for counseling. Not only did that keep him pure in that area against temptation, but also it allowed him to keep his testimony free from false accusations since he made sure to always have a witness around for female counseling. In the ministry we must go out of the way to avoid the devil’s attack. Most of the time going out of the way is a HUGE inconvenience, but it is crucial in keeping ourselves holy to minister God’s Holy Word.

When you are in ministry you must love ALL people. Not everyone called into the ministry is a “people- person”. Fortunately I am, so this one is easy for me! I can meet some one and be around them a few minutes and feel like I have known them forever. This is something God gave me. I was like this since birth- it drove my mother crazy! One of the hardest things to do involves loving those that are ugly to you or your family. We have had church members, fortunately they have left, that have said and acted in a very hurtful way to us for NO reason. My husband has done some things that have made some people upset (innocently) There is one person we actually spent time giving extra love and attention to, and then she brutally attacked us with false accusations in the community. This makes even an non- confrontational pastor’s wife want to fight! But what does the pastors’ wife have to do to honor the Lord? She shows love and a sweet smile with compassion when seeing her at the Dollar Store! I will admit I drive on past places when I see her car outside a store sometimes.
I had a recent situation where someone was ugly, not to me or my family, but they were still very wrong in what they did. I told my friend of the situation since it was someone that does not go to our church or live in our community. My friend replied to me that I need to call her up and tell her how wrong she was and that she needs to straighten up and not do that again. I smiled and said, “you could call her and say that, but I am the pastor’s wife, I cannot do that!”

When you are in the ministry you must be ready at all times. I love where I live. Josh and I are so comfortable in our house, in our community, and at our church. We know most people in the store, bank and post office by name! We moved away from Georgia four years ago and I knew that I could never call anywhere else home. I was wrong. Now I love being in Georgia visiting, but nothing feels as good as being at our house! It would take a stick of dynamite to blow us out of where we are now; actually, God would be the only reason we would ever leave. The scary thing about ministry is we never know when God calls us to another place. I thought it was hard leaving the only place I have ever called home, but it will be harder if God ever calls me to leave Bloomfield. Families in the ministry are like military, you must always keep your heart open to have to move your family and children away and start a new “home”. I read a Beth Moore book recently and she says that home to her husband is wherever the girls are (her and their daughters), but home to her is where her house is. Women tend to get more attached to a house, I know I have. We have so many memories already in the two years we have lived in our house. I never had to experience moving as a child. My parents still live in the same house they brought me home from the hospital in. If they ever sell that house, I will mourn it like a death in the family for all the memories I have there.

When you are in the ministry you must bear the burdens of the people. I must say this is a hard one. There is something about ministering to people that when they fall away in to sin you take it personal. It can quickly make you feel like a failure when someone gives up or quits. Backsliders and lost church members can be the downfall of a good preacher! It is a trap from the devil, but the first thing to go through a leaders mind is that it is because I did not preach or teach good enough, or I did something wrong. It is equally as rewarding when they reach milestones and you see persistent growth in your members.

When you are in the ministry you must have a positive attitude at all times while ministering. It is easy when you work a normal job to come in to work in a bad mood. Everyone knows that Mondays are the worst day of the week, right? Well, when you are in the ministry you must learn to put all emotions from the outside world aside and be prepared to minister to everyone else. The hardest time for me was back in the summer I had a miscarriage and I did not want the people to know. I came to church because it was a Wednesday night and I had to be the same person I always am. Of course people were complaining about their aches and pains as I sat silent. Ministry can be lonely, but God shows us and grows us closer to Him. John Bunyan was a great preacher of the gospel and he made great sacrifice to further the gospel. He commented that the hardest times to minister were the time he was going through personal suffering.

I hope these things helped you. Whether or not God has called you to the ministry, it helps to know the struggles we face. God calls and God equips us! He has been so faithful to us. What a privilege it is to be responsible to teach God’s Holy Word when we are such an unholy people. I pray that God will make my life worthy of His praise. I know there are things I do that cause harm to the ministry and I pray that those things will be depleted and that I will be more holy everyday!

As I sat in my husband’s graduation ceremony today at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, I heard Dr. Mohler comment that none of the students or staff are worthy to preach and teach God’s Word. We consider it a high calling to be ministers. I do have a lot to learn about ministry and I pray that God will grow me closer to Him through each and every trial and experience. I pray He does the same for you.