The Perfect Job!

This quote is from an email I received a few days before Mother’s Day. I modified it a bit, but it really made me get emotional over some of the moments I have already experienced as a mother, and things I have to look forward to! I recall my high school and college years trying to imagine myself in a successful career doing something I love at that “perfect” job. I also recall working that “perfect” job and longing for the days I would become a mother. Now I rock crying babies, wipe snotty noses, wipe very dirty bottoms, explain complicated things to a two-year –old such as breast feeding, spank bottoms, clean up many spills, sing a sick toddler to sleep, wipe away tears, put passies in mouths, bake birthday cakes, spend many dollars at the one-hour photo in Wal-mart, gain nearly fifty pounds in pregnancy, carry a kicking baby inside my belly, sacrifice a flat stomach and nice thighs for a cottage cheese body, and become a human milk machine . This is my successful career and the “perfect” job that I love doing.

I hope you love being a mommy as much as I do. It truly is the highest paid, most rewarding job in the world. Happy Mother’s Day!

“This is for the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up vomit saying, ‘It’s okay honey, Mommy’s here.’

Who have sat in rocking chairs for hours on end soothing crying babies who can’t be comforted.

This is for all the mothers who have spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

This is for the mothers whose priceless art collections are hanging on their refrigerator doors.

And for all the mothers who froze their buns on metal bleachers at football or soccer games instead of watching from the warmth of their cars.

And that when their kids asked, ‘Did you see me, Mom?’ they could say, ‘Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,’ and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet and scream for ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who go hungry, so their children can eat.

For all the mothers who read ‘Goodnight, Moon’ twice a night for a year. And then read it again. ‘Just one more time.’

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for every mother whose head turns automatically when a little voice calls ‘Mom?’ in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home — or even away at college ~or have their own families.

This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up. Right away.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.

For all the mothers of the victims of recent school shootings, and the mothers of those who did the shooting.

For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just came home from school, safely.

This is for all the mothers who taught their children to be peaceful, and now pray they come home safely from a war.

What makes a good Mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips?

The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?

Or is it in her heart?

Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time?

The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby?

The panic, years later, that comes again at 12 A.M. when you just want to hear their key in the door and know they are safe again in your home?

Or the need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?

The emotions of motherhood are universal and so our thoughts are for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation… And mature mothers learning to let go.

For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers.

Single mothers and married mothers.

Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. For all of us…

Hang in there. In the end we can only do the best we can. Tell them every day that we love them. And pray and never stop being a mom.

‘Home is what catches you when you fall - and we all fall.’”

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Pure Motives, Impure Actions

My husband became the pastor of our new church in January, so I am trying to find where God wants me to serve in this new church. I know of “needs” we have in the church, but I have served in the past in positions because I was needed, and not because God wanted me there. I believe God has a place for everyone in the church, it is just a matter of being obedient to where that place is.

I have been sitting in the youth Sunday School class for several weeks. I sat Sunday morning with about 15 girls and the things I heard shocked me. These girls were sharing how their thoughts had become very impure. They admitted to thinking such perverted thoughts because of the things they see and hear at school from piers, at the movies, on the radio, and on televison. These girls were convicted about what trash they were putting into their eyes and ears because the trash was coming back to their minds even in the most innocent situations. The teacher of the class was not the one that brought up this conversation, but the girls were being convicted on a daily basis, and as one began to share, more girls admitted that they were experiencing the same shameful thoughts.

This proves that what goes in the brain does control the thoughts. If we daily put Scripture in the brain, Scripture will come to our mind throughout the day and in circumstances in our lives. 2 Timothy 2:15-16 says, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. But shun profane [and] vain babblings: for they will increase unto more ungodliness.”

I have recently been very heart broken over hearing ministers and other professing Christians advertise the television programs and movies that they enjoy.  Not only are they not ashamed, they are proud that they enjoy watching sin. I will confess, not out of pride, but humbleness that the Lord has chosen to convict myself and my husband about this very same matter. There is NO program we watch at night that promotes or condones sin. We watch only re-runs of clean older programs with good morals, game shows, or singing competitions (unless someone in the competition is a known homosexual or involved in another known sin). The young generation behind us is watching all of us in the ministry as examples. If we are watching a program, then they think it must be acceptable for them to watch as well. We are teaching them that these programs are an acceptable way of living, and that includes illicit sex, sex with multiple partners, prostitution, immodesty, gambling, drug use, cursing God, false idols, homosexuality and much more.

I once was watching most of the popular programs on television until the Lord revealed all of this to me. Yes the story line of the programs are entertaining, but that is the Devil’s scheme. He can attract even the ugliest sin to the point that a God-fearing minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ can sit in front of the television set and laugh until they cry. Then they set their tivos to tape all of these shows to ensure they do not miss one minute. Then they get to work the next day or see an old friend and what happened on the show last night becomes the topic of discussion. It is such an easy trap to fall in to, but one of the most dangerous. How can we teach our children the principles of the Bible when they see such a hypocritical lifestyle played out for them in the center of their home? And many of them are witnessing their parents being entertained by it.

A principle I strive to live by is living my life as if everyone lived like me. Once when I was lost and living indulgent in my sin I remember having that thought. I was ashamed as to what the world would be like. Now I think the same thought, but it is what would the church be like if everyone lived like me? I am a pastor’s wife, although I am a normal sinner saved by God’s grace, and if everyone in the church lived like me then most of the time God’s church would be in trouble. I must daily die to my sinful ways and strive to fill my mind with thing that bring Him glory.

Here are some shows NO Christian should promote and reasons why:

House- illicit sex, adultery, prostitution, drug use, false god worship, greed, lust, perversion, adults lusting over children, assisted suicides, abortion issues, filthy language

CSI- soft pornography, love triangles, illicit sex among cast members, alcohol, drug use, filthy language

GREY’S ANATOMY- sex among cast members, fighting over sex, drinking and bar scenes, lying, love triangles

LOST- A couple is pregnant and the paternity is questionable

FRIENDS- sex outside of marriage, fornication, pornography addiction, alcohol drinking

WILL & GRACE- homosexuality, alcohol, perverted conversation

BOSTON LEGAL- adultery and sexual affairs

UGLY BETTY- ex-boyfriend has pregnant girlfriend, sex-changes

SAMANTHA WHO?- before her accident she was having an affair with a married man and an alcoholic
This is from one of my favorite hymns:

“Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the One I love, Here’s my heart Lord take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above.”

A Sleeping Baby Is Worth Its Weight In Gold

When I was hired at the Wellness Center as a personal trainer I was hired to replace a lady that was pregnant and about to take her maternity leave. As she was training me for the position she asked me if I had ever heard of Babywise. At that time I had not yet heard of it. Throughout her sons young life she was telling me what she was doing to follow the program and explaining everything to me. A few months later I was pregnant myself, so reading the book to me was just review.

I had discussed it with my husband and he was a little skeptical of the whole idea but always up to trying anything that would help our baby sleep through the night. We were at a cookout at a neighbor’s house when he was sold to the idea. A friend of our neighbors was staying with them from out of town when he asked us the same question, “Have you ever heard of Babywise?” Our antennas perked up and we listened to what he had to say. He explained how he and his wife did it with their two daughters. Now they were older children but they still loved to go to bed at night and get a good nights sleep. He explained that he attributed it to their good behavior, good grades, and pleasant demeanor. Our neighbors agreed that his girls were to be admired by all parents.

I have to agree, I am not sure what I would do without it. It worked wonderfully with my daughter and I am now doing it with my 5-week-old son. I have many friends that have done it with their children and I know that it works. We moved into our new home seven days before our son was born. The day I got home from the hospital a new neighbor came by to meet me. She asked me if I knew about Babywise. When I told her yes she said, “Good, I was about to go home and get you my book. I have 5 children under the age of 10 and that is why I have 5 children. I have friends that did not believe that Babywise was what made them so good, but with each child I had she grew more convinced.”

So what is Babywise? It is offering a PARENT LED parenting system rather than the CHILD LED parenting system that is so popular today. It is a scheduling system for babies. Please read the book for yourself because the authors do a wonderful job explaining why everything works the way it does and why this program benefits both parent and child. It teaches parents to start their babies on a schedule of feeding, wake time, and nap time on a two and a half to three hour cycle- in that order throughout the day. At night they just feed the baby and let the baby wake up for the next feeding and have no wake time. At eight-weeks of age a baby’s stomach can hold enough food to last them eight-hours through the night so you drop night feedings until eight weeks old until they are able to sleep soundly through an eight-hour period. This is my nutshell version, there is a lot more to it.

The benefits come into effect with the parent and the baby getting a good night sleep. Both parent and baby are allowing their bodies to go through the different stages if sleep that the brain needs. When they both wake up in the morning they are refreshed and well rested. It is so crucial for a baby to experience this at a young age. This is why the Babywise babies are generally happier and actually healthier than babies that are up all throughout the night for the first couple of years of their life. I have a friend that is still up with her one-year-old at least once per night. She is exhausted and frustrated and regrets not doing Babywise.

There are many critics of the program. One major point of criticism is that we are starving our children that need to eat more by forcing them to wait every couple of hours for a feeding and that we should just feed them when they are hungry. My argument to this is that a baby does not know when he/she is hungry. Like a horse, a baby will most likely eat when food is in front of them. I was feeding my infant son about every hour because he would scream and it sounded like he was starving. Sure enough as soon as I would offer my breast, he would eat like he had not eaten in days, although it had only been just an hour, or less! I thought he was just an avid eater. After many times vomiting up all he had eaten I soon discovered that he was not hungry, he was just screaming because he was sleepy. My children fight sleep as babies for some reason! As soon as I put him on a two-hour eating schedule he stopped vomiting and soon grew accustomed to eating every two hours. Now he is on a schedule and he knows when it is time to eat, wake and sleep.

Another point of criticism is that letting your baby cry somehow makes them feel neglected. Well, if we answer a baby’s every cry, we are teaching them that crying lets them get their way. Understand, this does not mean not to answer a hungry cry or a hurting cry. This does mean not to answer the unnecessary cry. Soon you learn what the difference in crying means. I know now the hungry cry in my 5 week old son, and I know his sleepy cry. The sleepy cry is the one I ignore. I lay him down in bed, he cries himself to sleep. He never remembers it later, he does not hold it against me and he is not scarred for life. Rather, he learns to lie down and go to sleep, he eventually does not cry after a couple weeks of being consistent and he soothes himself off to sleep. When I know he as been fed, changed, and he is not sick or hurting, he cries when I lay him down but within about five minutes he is fast asleep.

Another point of criticism is that sick babies can get sicker or even experience trauma when left to cry on their own. The authors are VERY clear about ignoring the schedule when your child is sick or has had surgery. You cannot be too strict and ignore signs of sickness or illness. They also tell you that you can modify it for your needs. For example, I rocked my daughter to sleep when she was a baby. That was something I did not want to miss out on. The program still worked fine, I followed all the rules except for that one. The book also states that if you are on a crowded airplane or are a guest in someone else’s home not to let your baby just scream to disturb everyone.

The book is fascinating and I am convinced because I have seen it work and I did it for myself. I encourage you to give the gift of Babywise at a baby shower to someone you care dearly for.

Ezzo, Gary M. A. and Bucknam, Robert M.D. “On Becoming Babywise”  1995, 1998, 2001

Suffering and Sacrifice

I sat in Sunday School a few weeks ago and the teacher used an example I thought illustrated a point very well. He said if you take a worthless plastic cup it means nothing to you. If you drop your diamond wedding ring inside of it, it instantly becomes valuable. That is just like Christians. We are worthless, but Christ in us makes us valuable.

This is a personal study I have done on the suffering and sacrifices of many of the disciples and apostles that served Jesus. It fascinates me to see how dedicated these men were to spreading the Gospel and how devoted they were to making sure the world knew about Jesus’ death. It motivates me to evaluate my service to the Lord and my responsibility to make sure the world I live in knows about Jesus’ death and resurrection.

I love what John MacArthur says in his Matthew Commentary:
“The greatness of God is seen in His choosing the undeserving to be His people and the unqualified to do His work. It should be a marvelous encouragement to every believe to know that, just as Elijah, the apostles had a nature like ours. Apart from the brief ministry of His own Son, the history of God’s work on earth is the history of His using the unqualified. The twelve disciples who became apostles are no exception. The twelve men Jesus chose as His apostles had in their hands the full responsibility for initially taking the Gospel to the rest of the world.”

Matthew- Publican made an apostle. King Hytacus in Ethiopia had him arrested. He was dragged outside, nailed to the ground with short spears and beheaded. 66 A.D.
(Jesus Freaks, 219)

Mark- Apostle with Jesus. He preached the gospel in Egypt, and there, drawn with ropes unto
the fire, was burnt and buried. (Foxes Book of Martyrs, 7)

Andrew- Brother of Peter, Apostle of Jesus. Sentenced to a crucifixion where he hung on the cross for three days until he died. 66A.D. (Jesus Freaks, 149)

James- Son of Zebedee, Apostle of Jesus. King Herod Agrippa had James arrested and sentenced to death based on a man’s testimony about him. This accuser gave his life to Christ after he saw James’ extraordinary courage and stedfast joy even condemned to die. He asked for James’ forgiveness and James kissed him. They were both beheaded. James was the first apostle martyred. 36-44 A.D. (Jesus Freaks 193, Foxes Book of Martyrs, 6)

Thomas- Apostle of Jesus, called “Doubting Thomas” because he had to see the risen Savior. He was preaching in India and North Africa to savage tribes. Many in these tribes were getting saved. In Calamina, India, the people were worshipping an image of the sun. Thomas destroyed that image and put a stop to their idolatry. The sun god’s priests were furious. He was tortured with red hot metal plates and then thrown into a glowing furnace. He was still alive in the midst of the furnace. They threw spears and javelins into the furnace at him until he fell dead.
(Jesus Freaks, 56)

Stephen- Preacher of Jesus. First recorded Christian martyr. Stoned to death. 34 A.D.
(Jesus Freaks, 37)

John the Baptist - Preacher of Jesus. Beheaded.

Simon- Brother of James and Jude. Simon the Zealot. He preached in Egypt, North Africa, and islands of Great Britian. He was painfully tortured and crucified.
(Jesus Freaks, 220, Foxes Book of Martyrs, 6)

Batholomew- Apostle of Jesus He preached to the Indians. He translated the Gospel of St.Matthew into their tongue. He was beaten down with staves, then crucified, then beheaded. (Foxes Book of Martyrs, 7) He preached Jesus for 37 years. He learned the language of the Indians and taught them in their native tongue. Many people turned to Christ from thier idolatry including the King of
Armenia’s brother and his family. the king threatened him to make sacrifices to the god of Astaroth. First he was beaten with rods, then crucified upside down and skinned. Then his head was cut off with an ax. (Jesus Freaks, 205-206)

Philip- Preacher and missionary He labored among the barbarous nations. He was crucified and
stoned to death. He was the 2nd apostle martyred. 51 A.D.
(Jesus Freaks, 219)

James- Half brother of Jesus Apostle of Jesus He was a just man. He drank no wine nor did he eat animal food. He would enter the temple alone to pray for the people. His knees had lost sense of feeling for kneeling to pray that he was said to have “camel knees”.They threw him down from off the temple wall but it did not kill him. They stoned him then took an instrument and struck his head killing him. (Foxes Book of Martyrs, 10-11)
For thirty years he had been the bishop at the church at Jerusalem. He wrote the book of James. He converted many people to Christ. The religious pharisees tried to tempt him into denying his faith. They pushed him off the temple roof. His legs were broken but he was still alive. They started stoning him. A man ran up to him with a big stick in his hand and struck James in the head where he died instantly. (Jesus Freaks, 89-90)

Jude- Brother of Jesus Apostle of Jesus He preached boldly to pagan nations against idol worship and heathen sacrifices. When the pagan priests saw that they were losing followers and money they attacked him with sticks and clubs beating him to death. 68 A.D. (Jesus Freaks, 219)

Peter- Apostle of Jesus Peter was sentence in Rome to be crucified. He said he was not worthy
to be crucified in the same manner as his Savior and requasted to be crucified upside down. The romans honored this request. 65 A.D. (Jesus Freaks, 311- 312)

John- Apostle of Jesus John was tortured and exiled. H elived to be about 100 years old. He
was exiled to the island of Patmos where he had the visions and wrote the book of Revelation.
He was tortured and persecuted, but he died in peace and was not martyred. 95 A.D. (Jesus Freaks, 163-165)

FOOTNOTES:

William Byron Forbush, “Foxes Book of Martyrs”. July 1978.

DC Talk, “Jesus Freaks: DC Talk and The Voice of the Martyrs”. January 1999.

Her worth is far above rubies…

Dr. Adrian Rogers has some very practical suggestions for wives and mothers. Here are some things he states in his message, “Five Ways to Be a Successful Husband.” This is to the wives:

“Consider if your work adds to the home or takes from it! Why does a woman work? Some women work because they must in order to meet the household budget; it is necessary for her to work for financial reasons. Some and most women work so she can receive a paycheck and see her worth. Why are women in the workplace and they do not need to be? Her husband may not be acknowledging her worth in the home and homes are suffering.”

I cannot agree more. If my husband were not all the time supporting me and encouraging me to stay at home, I must admit, I would probably be working. I struggle with staying at home and feeling like I am “losing” my education and skills due to non-use, while he is at school each day and studying to sharpen his skills and abilities. This is a lie from the devil! I am sharpening my skills in many areas- just different areas. Do not think for one minute also that I do not struggle with being ready to be financially free. I miss wordly things like shopping and having more than one family vehicle so I can go where I want when I want! But each time I watch my baby learn something new and know that I taught her that, each time we do puzzles together, sit in the floor for hours in a day and sing, read and play, I would not trade that time in for $100,000 a year salary. I would be a millionaire if I had a quarter for every time I am in the store or somewhere and an older lady will say to me, “You better enjoy them while they are young because it does not last long.” I realize that graduations and weddings come fast, I mean, where did my own childhood go? That is why I will stand at graduations and at weddings and know that I may have made a LOT of mistakes raising them, I may have put other tasks priority from time to time, I may have said things to them I should not have, I may have not disciplined exactly like I should have, I may not have had much money to buy them the perfect most stylish clothing, but I pray that they know that time with them surpassed everything else in life during those young, precious years. The years we will never get back.

Every night I read the Bible to my daughter and we say prayers. Every night the thought comes of when she will not longer be within my grasp. I will be willing to pay numerous amounts of money when the time comes to get her back for just one day, am I not willing to pay numerous amounts now?

In the same message from Dr. Rogers, he lists many jobs of a wife and mother. Dennis and Barbara Rainey are the ones he credits for coming up with these many roles:

“As a mother she is a meal planner, nurse, counselor, comforter, policeman, judge (settling internal disputes with the children), clothier, wardrobe consultant, budget and financial planner, teacher, tudor, cheerleader, spiritual advisor, nursery worker, seamstress, cook, maid, linguistics expert (specializing in the dialect of two-year olds), resident gardener, administrator, interior decorator, schedule planner, chauffer, environmentalist (maintaining proper home environment), family historian (preserving family history).
For her husband she is a confidant, lover, companion, advisor, encourager, partner, comforter, hostess, and entertainer.
For her community she is a neighbor, gracious entertainer, volunteer counselor, friend, and church member.”

Mothers are worth VERY much in the home!

Moving Day

One of the hardest aspects of ministry is being ready at all times for God to do something BIG! This is easier said than done. Most of us all love being on a routine and planning out the future in our minds. Well, in ministry we must depend on God for our future plans and that means NOT knowing what He has in store.

This came true for my family just in the last twelve weeks. We were at a friends house visiting their new born baby when Josh took a cell phone call. We got in the car to leave and my husband tells me that a pastor search committee chairman had just called and asked many questions. We became nervous but we also know that several times his resume was sent to a church without a pastor and we prayed for God not to even let them call us if He was not in it. Sure enough, neither church ever even picked up the phone. This was a start to a major prayer in our life. “Lord, please do not let them call us back if You are not in this. We are happy where we are and we will only move if You want us to!” We prayed this prayer many times a day and every other day the phone would ring from the committee.

One thing led to another and the first Sunday in December we were sitting in the balcony at Cornerstone observing the service. We went to another church in the area that evening and Josh preached a message to that congregation and the committee. We headed home on Monday and prayed again that God would shut the door if He was not in this.  We kept waiting for something to go wrong and for God to shut the door.
The next day we received a call requesting Josh to preach before the congregation at Cornerstone and they would vote in TWO weeks. We knew by this time that God had not shut any doors and we even had NO reservations about moving to Tennessee.

Now, just a few weeks later we are getting ready to move to Tennessee. The hardest part is leaving the close friendships we have here. I know that we have many lifelong friends here. Our entire church has given us so much love and encouragement that we have been overwhelmed. Everyone has been so positive and uplifting and we know that God is blessing our obedience.

We leave in just a few days for a ministry that God has called us to. We cannot wait to get started and see what God is going to do!

Is ministry life really that much different than a normal mainstream Christian’s life?

The answer is yes! How do I know, well, I have been both. I was raised in a home as a deacon’s child and we were very faithful to church. I felt as a teenager that my parents were Christian radicals who would never let us miss church unless there was an illness or death. My parents were not easily fooled either! There was probably a better chance for me to play hooky from school than from church. My parents have raised me to be a die hard Christian. I am thankful for this today because it has instilled in me a no excuses policy for skipping church. If we are constantly skipping church for this reason or that, then there is a reason why our heart does not have a burning desire to be present to hear God’s Word.

While I felt growing up like I was in the ministry, I had a best friend that was our pastor’s daughter. I grew up in her home quite a bit and I must say, things were different for her. So what is all the fuss about ministry? Why is ministry so difficult? Did God design it this way?

Hopefully I can express to you in this article how very different it is and how God did indeed design it that way. God made us each different and he also made us equipped for our calling. Remember, God called us to salvation and He knew what he wanted to do with us before we were ever conceived! Jeremiah was called before conception! Jeremiah 1:5, “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, [and] I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.”

Hannah prayed to God asking for a son and she told God she would give her son back to Him for the ministry if He would only let her have a son. God formed Samson in her womb with a purpose and a mission. I wonder if she would have still made that promise had she known what ministry would be like for that child. Sometimes I pray that God would call my children to be a soldier in the front lines of hard battle in some branch of the military before he would call them in the ministry, but I only say that on really hard days! And I am also joking!

David was chosen to be King before he was conceived. His duties awaited him and God had it all planned out according to His perfect will. His divine plan was, and always is fulfilled.

Josh felt the call to preach just as we were getting engaged. We dated for 6 years before the thought even entered our minds about ministry. We just assumed Josh would work doing web development or something like that and that we would live normally! Well, shortly before our engagement and wedding, I classify those dates together because they were only eight weeks apart, Josh battled with God calling him to ministry. I thought at the time that Josh was called and then I would just be his wife. Now I realize that God was calling me too! I realize now that God had a calling on my life before I was in my mother’s womb. This certainly does not make me more special than anyone else, nor does it mean that God loves me more than He does anyone else, but it does mean that God wants me to have a high standard in my life and be totally dependent on him.

Now, for all you reading this that are not in the ministry, you can also adopt the same high a standard for your life!

Here are some differences that I am referring to:

When you are in ministry you must guard yourself when becoming friends with someone. I do have a best friend that is a church member at our church. It is okay for us to be close, but there are many boundaries I cannot, for any reason, cross. I cannot tell her personal things about my marriage that best friends share, come on, he is her pastor!!
I cannot share anything with her that is going on in our struggles at the church. I cannot share anything with her that people in the community or in the church share with us, and boy do they share things! I cannot share with her many personal feelings I have towards family members, my husband, other church members, etc… I am not trying to be to her someone I am not, but I must keep myself pure before everyone we are ministering to or else I risk losing my credibility! I am a Sunday school teacher also and the minute I let my guard down in this area I have lost my effectiveness as a teacher of God’s Word. It can be lonely sometimes when you truly feel you have no one to talk to about things that are bothering you.

When you are in ministry you must avoid all appearances of evil. Paul displayed this wonderfully in 1 Corinthians when he refrained from eating meat because it offended the new Christians since meat was being used for idol sacrifices. Paul went as far to say that he would NEVER eat meat again if it offended someone. He could have said, “That is not fair I can eat what I want to eat and eating it is not a sin.” It was not eating the meat that was a sin, but he was willing to take great lengths at not offending them. There are things we must do to protect our testimony even if we feel it is UNFAIR. When Billy Graham was asked by a colleague how did he survive in the public ministry without ever once committing a sexual sin of adultery, his answer was that he NEVER met with a female alone for counseling. Not only did that keep him pure in that area against temptation, but also it allowed him to keep his testimony free from false accusations since he made sure to always have a witness around for female counseling. In the ministry we must go out of the way to avoid the devil’s attack. Most of the time going out of the way is a HUGE inconvenience, but it is crucial in keeping ourselves holy to minister God’s Holy Word.

When you are in ministry you must love ALL people. Not everyone called into the ministry is a “people- person”. Fortunately I am, so this one is easy for me! I can meet some one and be around them a few minutes and feel like I have known them forever. This is something God gave me. I was like this since birth- it drove my mother crazy! One of the hardest things to do involves loving those that are ugly to you or your family. We have had church members, fortunately they have left, that have said and acted in a very hurtful way to us for NO reason. My husband has done some things that have made some people upset (innocently) There is one person we actually spent time giving extra love and attention to, and then she brutally attacked us with false accusations in the community. This makes even an non- confrontational pastor’s wife want to fight! But what does the pastors’ wife have to do to honor the Lord? She shows love and a sweet smile with compassion when seeing her at the Dollar Store! I will admit I drive on past places when I see her car outside a store sometimes.
I had a recent situation where someone was ugly, not to me or my family, but they were still very wrong in what they did. I told my friend of the situation since it was someone that does not go to our church or live in our community. My friend replied to me that I need to call her up and tell her how wrong she was and that she needs to straighten up and not do that again. I smiled and said, “you could call her and say that, but I am the pastor’s wife, I cannot do that!”

When you are in the ministry you must be ready at all times. I love where I live. Josh and I are so comfortable in our house, in our community, and at our church. We know most people in the store, bank and post office by name! We moved away from Georgia four years ago and I knew that I could never call anywhere else home. I was wrong. Now I love being in Georgia visiting, but nothing feels as good as being at our house! It would take a stick of dynamite to blow us out of where we are now; actually, God would be the only reason we would ever leave. The scary thing about ministry is we never know when God calls us to another place. I thought it was hard leaving the only place I have ever called home, but it will be harder if God ever calls me to leave Bloomfield. Families in the ministry are like military, you must always keep your heart open to have to move your family and children away and start a new “home”. I read a Beth Moore book recently and she says that home to her husband is wherever the girls are (her and their daughters), but home to her is where her house is. Women tend to get more attached to a house, I know I have. We have so many memories already in the two years we have lived in our house. I never had to experience moving as a child. My parents still live in the same house they brought me home from the hospital in. If they ever sell that house, I will mourn it like a death in the family for all the memories I have there.

When you are in the ministry you must bear the burdens of the people. I must say this is a hard one. There is something about ministering to people that when they fall away in to sin you take it personal. It can quickly make you feel like a failure when someone gives up or quits. Backsliders and lost church members can be the downfall of a good preacher! It is a trap from the devil, but the first thing to go through a leaders mind is that it is because I did not preach or teach good enough, or I did something wrong. It is equally as rewarding when they reach milestones and you see persistent growth in your members.

When you are in the ministry you must have a positive attitude at all times while ministering. It is easy when you work a normal job to come in to work in a bad mood. Everyone knows that Mondays are the worst day of the week, right? Well, when you are in the ministry you must learn to put all emotions from the outside world aside and be prepared to minister to everyone else. The hardest time for me was back in the summer I had a miscarriage and I did not want the people to know. I came to church because it was a Wednesday night and I had to be the same person I always am. Of course people were complaining about their aches and pains as I sat silent. Ministry can be lonely, but God shows us and grows us closer to Him. John Bunyan was a great preacher of the gospel and he made great sacrifice to further the gospel. He commented that the hardest times to minister were the time he was going through personal suffering.

I hope these things helped you. Whether or not God has called you to the ministry, it helps to know the struggles we face. God calls and God equips us! He has been so faithful to us. What a privilege it is to be responsible to teach God’s Holy Word when we are such an unholy people. I pray that God will make my life worthy of His praise. I know there are things I do that cause harm to the ministry and I pray that those things will be depleted and that I will be more holy everyday!

As I sat in my husband’s graduation ceremony today at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, I heard Dr. Mohler comment that none of the students or staff are worthy to preach and teach God’s Word. We consider it a high calling to be ministers. I do have a lot to learn about ministry and I pray that God will grow me closer to Him through each and every trial and experience. I pray He does the same for you.

Christ-Centered Checkbook

Probably one of the most requested posts by my friends is this one! When you live on very little means, like my family, a budget is crucial to keeping our household running. I am going to give you all of my tips for making our household operate on VERY little!

I was working during the time we moved to Louisville until my daughter was born. I was working many hours to make money and since my husband was very busy with school and I did not want to sit at home and be bored. I did make lots of money, and I was able to save a lot if it for after the baby was born as my safety net.

The funny thing is, we had saved up so much money in our money market account that I felt very comfortable quitting my job to have my baby and not worry about working for several months. I did have the option to return part-time if I wanted to. Josh and I felt very strongly after we held our baby for the first time that I was not to go back to work. We knew this was what God was calling us to do. We were really put to the test when our daughter was just a couple months old we had a transmission blowout in our car and immediately we lost three thousand dollars from our savings. The very next week we had a major air conditioner problem with our unit in our home and it was a hot ninety-five degree day in July. The baby and I had to spend the day at our neighbors’ house in order to survive until the man returned with the right part to fix it. These types of expensive, unplanned events kept on happening until we were left with barely enough in our savings for a minor emergency!

These things caused us to question what God really wanted us to do about finances. Josh being a full-time student and living on a part-time pastors salary is NOT enough to pay the bills and eat too. We knew God had not changed His mind, right?? Circumstances NEVER change God’s will for our lives. They can play a big part, but they do not change it!

I cannot give you an exact formula, but we needed roughly $800 to $1000 dollars more per month just to make ends meet and eat too! This excludes clothes, eating out, extra gas for trips, expensive brand diapers, and all luxuries of life! Josh started up a web design company but his time was very limited with school and the church. Each month we just took it one week at a time. I remember at the end of each month Josh would say, “Well, that was one more month you got to stay at home with our daughter.” God kept providing each month with enough jobs for Josh to make the bills. Now it has been two years and if I add up our salary plus the bills, we should NOT be paying the bills. We do not make enough money! I can honestly say that we have never payed one bill late, nor have we skipped a meal, we are not naked, and we have never borrowed money from friends or family! This is how God works. He chose to not show us ahead of time how he would provide, but rather each day at a time He met our needs AFTER we took that step of faith!
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1
Now, to the subject of me being able to stay at home, first we had to make DRASTIC changes in our lifestyle. No fancy foods at the supermarket, no new clothes for a long time, no expensive cosmetics, no nail salons, etc…… We became glued to a budget and have still been sticking to it. We decided to make many sacrifices to get through these school years until Josh can make a full-time salary. After Josh graduates the church still may not pay full-time, but Josh will be able to work more at the web business. We have lived like this for nearly two and a half years and we make less money than one full-time salary. When we know of couples that have two full-time salaries, we know how well-off they are living compared to us!

The top of the list is PRAYER! Without prayer and God providing our budget would never be met. I strongly believe that many couples lose their homes over simply mis-spending their money. I pray everyday that God would guide and direct us on how to properly spend our money. Does this mean we never make mistakes and spend it selfishly? If you believe that I have some beach front property here on my farm in Kentucky I will sell to you!

Here are some tips I have learned from being so tightly wrapped around a budget:

I sit down once a month for about an hour and make out a menu for the entire month. I make a grocery list for every two weeks, or twice per month from all the items needed to make each meal. I also add to the list extras such as toiletries, breakfast, lunch and snack items. During times we have been on a very strict budget it has actually benefited our health because many items such as juice is a luxury- man can live on water and not juice, colas, lemonade and tea! Snack items add up also so we no longer buy chips, dips, pastry snacks, etc.. Not only are we eating healthier, but it is very budget friendly.

I also save up on baby food the entire time I am pregnant. I buy about four or five jars of baby food, more if it is on sale. Not only does it add just a couple dollars to my grocery bill, but by the time my baby is several months old and eating it, I have almost a full supply on hand. You can also do this with diapers and it helps to spread out the expenses over time.

I make a list, check it twice, and stick with it! I make a list according to the menu items plus extras I have thought we will NEED and after I have my list I add up an estimate of the cost of each item. I total my estimated bill and it is actually a game to me when I get to the store to see how close I come without going over. I would be a sure win on “Price is Right”. I have actually come as close as two cents before.

Well, to sum it all up, God will provide for us if we are living according to His plan. He has showed us that so many times that we actually have it tattooed to our foreheads. We have doubted and He has provided, we have fallen short and He has graciously provided. The trouble comes when we are NOT following Him.

1 Timothy 6:6-10 “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into [this] world, [and it is] certain we can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.
But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and [into] many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”

Patience, Patience, Patience!

I know most of us despise this word. It is so hard to be patient. I have a two-year old daughter and some days I feel like she may never learn it! It is the hardest thing in the world for us to learn, especially when we have no control. A good friend of mine asked me to write on this subject and boy is she about to get it! Just Kidding!

Throughout the Bible we see that we are not alone when it comes to having to learn patience. Patience is something that MUST be learned, most of the time it is not just given to us. One example I gained from during this study has been Abraham and Sarah. They were so old, in their nineties, and God had promised them children. Now, here is a couple facing infertility issues, yet they did know they would eventually get pregnant. How comforting that must have been compared to many situations today when couples have no idea if they ever will get pregnant. But what did our great forefather do? Sarah came up with her own little plan, to have her husband sleep with the maidservant and have a child that way! No patience to wait on God.

In my own experience I dated my husband for six and a half years before we married. We did not live like unmarried couples today and live together beforehand. It humors me and saddens me how many young girls are living with their boyfriends today, even working hard to pay most all the bills, and they think they will get a ring and proposal sooner??? The real key is to abstain from all sexual behavior and all financial support until marriage and I bet he will have marriage on his mind a lot sooner! Anyways, we waited for that long to get married. Why did we wait? Well, we knew the timing was not right. We both wanted to go to college and we knew we must have substantial jobs because we wanted to live under our own roof, not our parents. We worked hard through that time to reach our goals so that we could get married. It was so hard when many of our friends would pop up and get engaged after just a few months of dating, and here we were struggling to wait! Jealousy and impatience took its toll on us many times.

I know there are many couples that are “waiting” on God’s timing either on marriage, having a baby, buying a house, or many other things. It is hard to wait even when you know that it WILL happen one day, just like Abraham and Sarah. I know how anxious the time is while waiting. Josh and I sat down four years ago with his degree requirements class list when he enrolled in Seminary. We mapped out the next four years of what classes he was to take and when. We decided that he would take his time in seminary, not rush through it and really gain from every professor. That is why we wanted to move to the seminary and not just enroll in on-line courses. I remember feeling so discouraged thinking about how long it was going to take, after all four years is a lifetime, right? It is now the dawn of his last semester and invitations went out last week in the mail to our family. We cannot believe how fast the time flew by? Where did it go? How faithful were we to God during the four years? Was it successful? Did we read enough? Did we make enough relationships? It is so amazing that four years seems like a few months now that it is over! The same was with our wedding night. Our entire honeymoon in Aruba was spent pondering the past six and a half years and how fast it seemed to go by, and now that the wait was over, we realized how much fun we had six and a half years of dating. Now that we have been married for five years, and every bit of it has been with financial struggles, we cannot date like we did before we were married. We truly dated those years. Every weekend we went to baseballs games, nice restaurants, movies, plays, youth events, preaching conferences, and much more! We can not do many of those things now due to working, child-raising, school, and money.

James said life is but a vapor, so we should never look at a day as a stumbling block. Each day we are here is a gift from God. Each day is very valuable to a Christian. We should never view times of waiting as misery. We should focus on each day at a time and we appreciate it more when we finally get what we have been wanting. This is a secret to most couples in the same predicament of having to wait to get married, it is not a predicament at all, but rather a privilege. A good marriage is not something we can purchase, if so we would be in a lot of trouble. God knew that for us, we would not have been able to enjoy the dating like we did had we gotten married sooner. We would not have started our marriage out on the foot we did with already knowing each other so well. We truly appreciated one another after the wedding because we had been waiting for it for so long.

Good things come to those who wait! That is not in Scripture, but it is a good principle to grasp. We know that God’s timing is PERFECT, He is never late nor early for anything. Since God is perfect and just , then each day He has us wait on something, it is for our own good.

Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose.”

Christ-Centered Christmas

Before my husband and I were married we used to discuss how we would do Christmas with our future children. Even up until after our daughter was having her second Christmas we still did not have a set game plan. It is hard for the Christian parents to keep Jesus’ Birth on our children’s minds during Christmas with all the other things that people have made Christmas out to be. It is even hard as adults to keep Jesus the center of Christmas with all the shopping, cooking, traveling, and driving from party to party. We were not opposed to doing the “Santa Claus” game with our children since that was our tradition growing up, but we really did seek an alternative to include Santa but to make the center of gift exchanging all about Jesus.

Last year a friend of mine, Kerri, told me about a tradition that she has done with her daughter every Christmas and I love it! This year on Christmas Eve they will bake a cake together for Jesus’ birthday. They will decorate it together and get it all ready for the party. After her daughter goes to bed Kerri and her husband will decorate the living room for a BIG birthday party. When her daughter wakes up on Christmas morning, she will walk into the party. Kids love birthday parties, especially when they are the ones that get to open presents! Kerri said her daughter especially loves getting to eat cake for breakfast. This way it does put all the focus on the reason for the party and the reason for celebrating Christmas.

My husband and I have decided to implement this into our family Christmas this year. On Christmas Eve we will read the story of Jesus’ birth to our daughter as we do every year, then we will bake and decorate a cake in honor of His birthday. Many children bake cookies for Santa, but a birthday cake for Jesus is fun too! We will be having a birthday party for Jesus this year!